hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
