she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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