he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize