I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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