im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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