How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
