The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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