operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think your dad took our porno
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
