the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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