am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Fuck appropriateness.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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