Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
