I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think my moral compass just broke
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