OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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