don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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