I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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