if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You pole danced in your parka.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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