The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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