Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
