My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize