i just wanna soil my oats bro
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
