I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
