Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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