it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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