I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
