oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
