ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
