dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
