just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
