One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
