i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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