i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
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I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
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Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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