this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
