Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
