when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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