I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
