The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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