So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
