But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
