So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
