I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
