Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
