Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
