Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
