Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
