if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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