How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
