i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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