Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
