Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
