So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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