wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize