we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
