What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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