Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
