Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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