Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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