I wannas sexs uuuuu
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
