He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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